"What Hot Lovers Know. Your Guide To Great Sex, Intimacy And Loving!"
The following principles in this article to enjoy great sex are based on my personal experiences and from my professional tantric and erotic massage practice on women.
And the experience of the Men and Women I have worked with over the years in My professional practice as a Sex and Intimacy Counsellor.
Of course, many of these principles are generalizations. And some of what I say below contradicts other things I say!
Every woman (or man) is different and what is sensual and orgasmic for one could be a turn off for another.
I like to look at two ways of making love.
I have called one approach the male approach and the other the female approach for the want of better terms.
The differences in these ways of making love can create sexual issues and tensions between men and woman on a fundamental level. To understand this we have to look at the masculine and feminine in sex.
What Most Woman Want In Bed
Man and woman have fundamentally different ways in how they interact in the world. Most males have a stronger masculine energy compared to most women.
This masculine energy manifests in the man being goal orientated, achieving things, focused, intent, powerful and strong.
Making money, solving problems, climbing up to be a leader and political power are some manifestations of the masculine energy.
Most women have a stronger feminine side and this is expressed in being loving, being beautiful, and qualities of being sensitive, intuitive, soft, emotional, feeling, flowing, joyful, happy, open, deep and spiritual.
Every man and every woman has both the masculine energy and the feminine energy, but one is usually more dominant.
Many women use their masculine traits in order to be successful in the work place. However, they do tell me that they long to fall deep into their feminine energy and orgasmic power in bed. They want their partner to lead them in bed with skill and sensitivity, so they can relax and totally surrender.
Sex is the attraction caused by the interplay of the masculine and feminine as opposites attract. Even in gay couples, one will tend to be active and one passive.
However, this dynamic can lead to problems in the bedroom, as men and women generally approach sex in opposite ways. Let us look at the way sexual energy flows for someone that is predominately masculine (usually a man but some woman are more masculine and some men more feminine).
Sexual energy for most men is based on the genitals. It is quick to ignite like a fire and a man is ready for penetration in a few minutes.
The sexual energy can then rise to the heart and the man can be more open to his feelings and love towards his lover. A mans positive sexual pole is his genitals. The sexual energy of a feminine woman is more like water on the boil. It can take time to rise in temperature. A woman usually needs to feel loved and desired before she becomes interested in sex.
Once her heart is opened the energy then flows down to her vulva and she starts to desire penetration. A woman’s positive sexual pole is her heart and breasts. These differences can lead to issues in bed because your partner likes a different approach to making love than what you would prefer.
One only needs to look at porn to see what style of sex most men desire. This type of sex is very similar to how a man masturbates. The general rule is hard and fast. Have you noticed there is not any kissing in most porn movies?
As long as a man can ejaculate a few times a week, most men are totally happy with their sex life. Many men only make love with this fast type of high friction sex and then after few years of marriage find it a total mystery why their lover turns off sex. Like most guys in my teens I masturbated each day. I feel this process can set up an energetic habit of ejaculating quickly, of tightening up in the body and to be very goal focused on ejaculating.
When making love, some men continue this habit learned from masturbating.
I have talked to many woman and they tell me that their man uses them like a masturbation doll. No love, no connection or deep feelings and a big focus on orgasm. Now most women, now and then, love a high intensity, male style of sex. However, most feminine women, deep down really want sex with a lot more emotional connection, love and depth.
And most women need some time to open their heart and their feelings. Romance, hugs, affection and verbal appreciation help her to feel loved. Some women have told me that sex starts 12 hours before bed.
The genital focus in male style sex can lead to most men during foreplay to go straight to a woman’s genitals or breasts quickly, as this is that turns a man on. This direct approach is usually a desire killer for most women. So I suggest starting sensual foreplay strokes on her whole body that allows her to get into her body and out of her mind rather than an early genital focus Most women love to be pampered and loved with lingering sensual foreplay. You will find that this really builds up a woman’s sexual energy. Some women even enjoy foreplay more than intercourse.
The average time spent in foreplay is about 10 to 15 minutes according to surveys. The average time spent in intercourse is only about 7 minutes.
Men take note, if this is the usual time you spend on foreplay and intercourse, most women will eventually end up leaving you for a better lover.
They will not feel loved and they will end up feeling like you on some level are just using them.
They will tend to be critical of you in other areas of your life.
They will tend to shut down their feminine side and become more masculine in energy and be more demanding and the result is you will have sex less and less.
I do love a quickie now and then. And many of my lovers have liked this too. Variety is the spice of sex. However, making love the same way each time leads to boredom in sex.
If you really want to take your woman deeper into her feminine and orgasmic power, you need to understand that femininity sexuality does not fully unfold from the short porn style of sex based on genital friction.
The Male And Female Sex Style
I was on a sexuality course a while ago. 20 women were asked how they liked to make love. 18 out of 20 women on the course said the best sex for them was deep, slow and connected. 2 out of 20 women said the best sex for them was a porn style of making love.
Porn, films and most books all stress the high intensity style of making love and downplay a slower, more intimate and tantric loving way of connecting which most women love.
Do not take this to mean that I do not love the male way of making love. However, if this is the only way you make love, your woman could want a lot more sexually from you than you might think. Show her the following diagram and get some feedback on her sex style.
I have found from past lovers that a few women like the male style more than the female style. I know some men also would rather the female style of lovemaking. I suggest exploring different ways of making love so sex is always fresh and profound.
How To Have Great Sex Every Night Male Sex Style
Fast, hard, intense, demanding
Focused on the goal of orgasm
Focused on building up the intensity
Very similar to male masturbation
Can have focus on fantasy
Usually little foreplay
Visual stimulation important
Focused on genitals in foreplay
Usually the eyes are closed
Little emotional connection.
Lots of tension builds up in the body
High friction Intercourse for about 7 minutes
Sex is all over in 15 minutes
Ejaculation orgasm for the man
Clitoris orgasms usually for the woman
Vibrators can be used for orgasm
Ultimate goal for the man to orgasm together with his lover
Female Sex Style
Focus on being present, in the here and now
Focus on connection, feelings and emotions
Focus on pleasure and being in the body
Foreplay can be as pleasurable as intercourse and can last for hours
Focus on the whole body in foreplay
Both are turned on by the masculine and the feminine energy interplay
Eyes are often open
Heart based connection felt
Can be a slower style of intercourse
Sex becomes an energy interchange.
Relaxation and falling into ones energy
Sex can last for hours or even 12 hours
Non ejaculation orgasms for man possible
Man does not always ejaculate.
G spot, cervical, blended, push out and valley orgasms possible for the woman
Men can ride the orgasmic energy of a woman and feel this in their body
The ultimate goal is to be deep and ecstatic on many levels of feeling, heart and spirit
Deep trance states possible.
Man feels totally connected after sex and he can make love many times a day The woman feels totally open, happy and sexually available after sex.
How Men Can Really Build Up Pleasure: Slow Foreplay
So we have seen the importance of spending heaps of time in foreplay to allow a woman to really open and for her to fully enter her feminine energy. When starting foreplay, one principle I like to keep I mind is to go from the outer to the inner hotter zones on her body.
Some examples are that you could start kissing her big toes or fingers and then kiss inwards up her legs or arms.
Caress the breasts for some time before going to the nipples.
When you are close to intercourse, massage her outer vulva lips before the inner lips, clitoris or any internal g spot massage.
Another principle I find I naturally do is to go from light to firm, or slow to fast. Start with light touch and later on become firmer as the energy rises. For example, blow on the nipples before kissing and sucking.
Another example is in g spot massage, start with a sensitive touch. When she is close to orgasm she will get very wet and juicy and one can be quite firm and strong in your touch on the g spot.
If you slowly build up the sexual energy and delay intercourse until she is really wanting it and delay some more, this will allow a lot of time for her to get sexual energy to boiling point.
When you first enter your lover, try going in ever so slowly. Take a minute or so. Then stop and feel. Only later you could move faster in intercourse.
Many guys don't realize, or neglect sensitive areas of the female body which most woman LOVE attention.
While many of these zones are obvious, like the lips, breasts, inner thighs and genitals, there are some areas that, when stroked, caressed and stimulated through kisses, can drive your partner wild and even intensify their orgasm.
Try it tonight, the ears, neck, arms and hair are all really sensitive areas that love to be stimulated. Spend some time during foreplay caressing and touching these areas, and watch how it pleases your partner.
So I suggest making love to her whole body starting with slow and sensual strokes. Blowing (not in the vulva) and light touch can be very erotic. Everyone loves kissing on the lips but also run some kisses up her spine and shoulders.
Using feathers and fur can add a special touch.
“Eyes open sex” can be one of the most powerful ways to connect in sex. This can be challenging for some but well worth overcoming your resistance to being really intimate.
Once the sexual energy is rising, I like to spend a lot of time on her breasts.
As I mentioned, these are the positive pole of her sexuality. I love to spend at least 10 minutes on the breasts as I just love the softness of a breast. Really feel your woman’s femininity and softness coming out of her breasts and nipples. Later on, I like to connect the genitals to the breasts or nipples by touching both at once.
Do you know that foreplay can really help intensify orgasms for both the male and female?
If you kiss, caress and touch with love and pleasure, this leads to lovemaking even more satisfying and enjoying later.
Men Do NOT Rush foreplay. TAKE YOUR TIME. Slow down your pace if you want to make your lovemaking even better.
Another technique that is very powerful is playfully teasing your partner. If you find something that your partner really enjoys, stop it for a while, and touch elsewhere, and then do it again later.
The more you pull back and push forward, the more your partner will want it and the more intense their experience will be. For example, a long massage stroke up the legs can glide over the pussy and up the body Repeat this and them move on to other parts of the body as a tease.
It is important to really enjoy touching your lover. She will feel this in your touch and respond. Feel the pleasure of touching your lover in your body. Touch her and imagine love coming out of your fingers and hands. So focus on touching with consciousness, really feel what you are feeling and what is happening to you. If you are just trying to turn her on so you can have sex, you are in your head and most women feel this and find this a huge turn off.
So, do not focus on the goal of orgasm or fucking, but how much love you have and how much pleasure you can give and how connected you can feel with yourself. Connect to your lover by being inside yourself first.
Enjoy every second and sex will start to take on a timeless quality that is special. Many of my male clients have totally transformed how they make love just from the above tips.
If you find yourself getting just too turned on, start to take long and deep breaths into your belly. Take your attention to your body and relax any areas that are tightening up.
Now let's talk about what extended foreplay does for a mans "penis" and increasing his time in sex. When you come earlier than you would like it's because you aren't able to control your sexual excitement. The sensation of being inside her is just too exciting and you blow it...
Hey, I have been there.
However, when you have foreplay for 30 minutes or so then your sexual turn on has time to reduce so you do not come so easily. I suggest you triple the amount of foreplay and let your turn on reduce to day a 6 out of 10. This means you can enter her not so close to coming. This will enable you to make love much longer than entering her more highly turned on.
If you are at feel you are going to come too, soon try this simple tip, pull out and have oral sex. Most women love oral sex and actually some women only orgasm from oral.
Your lover is not going to mind a bit if you pull your penis out and go down on her for a few minutes. Let your turn on reduce before entering her again.
Tips for Women for Hot Foreplay
Most masculine men often respond to direct genital touch because this is their positive sexual pole. I suggest to women to learn to really honour and love their male’s penis. His penis is his manifestation of his sexuality and his sexual energy. If you do not love doing oral, you are rejecting your man on a deep fundamental level. You are telling him his penis is dirty. (the same principle applies for men avoiding going down on their woman)
Love His Penis and Love Her Vulva Fully
Loving touch on the genitals by ones hands or mouth is all most men really want. Many men love visual stimulation, the sight of a naked woman with legs open is a huge turn on. It is good to remember that the mornings are when his testosterone levels are highest for the day and his erections are most powerful.
If the energy stays in his genitals and he has a release, which all men love, he does not get to move his energy through hisbody and to connect to his heart. He does not connect his genitals to his heart when making love. One can help a man move his energy by massage strokes from his penis, up his body to his chest and heart area.
Massage strokes down his arms and legs moves the energy away from his pelvis. Allowing the energy to move throughout his body helps him avoids ejaculating too soon and can lead to a powerful whole body orgasm. Feel what areas he tightens up and massage these areas.
On a personal note, I do love my partner to use her breasts to massage my body. Placing her nipples on the soles of my feet is heaven too! Running her breasts over my penis is hot.
How Men Can Have More Powerful Ejaculation Orgasms
There are several tips that can result in more powerful orgasms. One way that can change the intensity of a male orgasm is by PC muscle contractions. These muscles stop the flow of urine. Try this first when urinating to get to know what to do.
Now, do 20 contractions when not urinating. This only takes a minute or so. Over a few weeks, build up to 200 contractions a day. Split this up into 4 sessions. One can do these contractions watching TV, being on the computer etc.
After one week of this practice, you will notice that your orgasms will be more powerful. Women too will find this practice of great value and this can lead to powerful push out contraction type of orgasms.
My next tip is to practice the following when making love. If you build up the sexual energy slowly and then have an orgasm, it will be a lot more intense. One can also come close to ejaculation, and then back off and repeat this a few times. More advanced men can ride the edge being close to ejaculation for some time.
Once I made love for 17 hours with breaks for food etc. The end ejaculation orgasm was mega powerful. The next way to intensify orgasms is to really let your energy rip. The key to this is to start to make powerful sounds when you are really turned on. This allows the energy to flow out of your genitals to your partner and she will respond too.
I still remember some screaming orgasms I had many years ago with a sexy woman having push out, contraction orgasms. Most men, due to early masturbation practices, will find this advice very hard to follow. I suggest to practice making sounds when masturbating.
Fake it to start the process and then it will become more natural. Most men do not like to make love to a silent women but are silent themselves. Make the effort to break this habit and you will be VERY surprised at the results. Making sounds allows the energy to rise out of the genitals that can lead to a whole body orgasms and eventually orgasms with no ejaculation and no loss of energy.
Makes Dates To Have Sex.
I see many couples in my practice and one theme that tends to come up is that they are just too busy and tired to have sex. Many men think sex should be spontaneous, but after a few years of living together, the men find they have sex less and less. The magic of sex when they first got together fades.
In our busy life with kids, work, exercise and community activities leaves little time for extended lovemaking sessions even with the best of intentions.
One solution to this issue is each week to make a date to be intimate. Make a date each week to spend some quality time for 2 hours to cuddle, massaging and being intimate. If the energy builds to lovemaking, then enjoy 2 hours of pleasure.
Having a bath together with candles and soft music is a wonderful way to relax. Place your sex life ahead of TV, computer games, reading the paper, porn or other ways some couples use to disconnect from each other.
Cultivate The Masculine And The Feminine.
After some time of living and sleeping together the masculine energy of a man can fall. The same thing can happen with a woman, she can tend to become more neutral in her sexual polarity.
The natural dynamic of the masculine and feminine in bed starts to be neutralized and sex looses its charm.
So I suggest men cultivate being a man. Doing marshal arts, achieving life goals, weight lifting, hanging out with the guys and doing adventurous things helps build up the masculine energy. My personal way is to spend time in nature doing challenging walks for up to 10 days in total wilderness areas.
At the same time, I suggest men develop the ability to feel and deepen their sensitivity to sexual energy. Chi Jung, meditation and other practices can help in this regard. I suggest to women to also cultivate the feminine each week.
Dancing, shopping, hanging out with the girls, yoga, massage are some ways to deepen the feminine power.
In my area there are women only workshops to access and deepen feminine power. I suggest you support your partner in the above activities.
Generally, you will not do these things as a couple. I personally hate shopping with my lover. Do not give into your women just to keep the peace when you know your integrity will suffer. Learn to say no when you really need too. Woman can often test a man to see if they are strong or just fold like a boy .
Tips for Men in Sex to be More Masculine.
Guys, if you tend to be rather passive in bed you could try the following tips. However, be sensitive and tune into her responses when trying out any of the methods below.
Of course NO means NO.
Many women want a masculine man in bed. They do not want a little boy! She wants a strong man to lead her to deep sexual pleasure. She wants a real man who is in touch with his sexual power and his desires and free from inhibiting social conditioning. She wants a man to feel her sexual energy in his body, be emotionally available and in his heart and feels free to express his energy verbally.
Unfortunately, many men are much too nice due to social conditioning and just try to please to be in her good books. her good books. They ask permission to do something new and they take no risks in bed .
So most women are turned on by a sexually confident man who knows what he is doing and takes the lead. It is very important to take the lead in lovemaking. Most women want to get out of their heads and into their bodies and pleasure in sex. They want to surrender to a strong male presence that can feel them at the same time.
One thing to avoid doing in sex is to ask questions that gets a woman into her thoughts. So, do not ask permission to try something a bit new, just do it and she can say if it is not working for her. Tune into her energy and body language to see if she is responding and that her pleasure is increasing. Change sex positions because you feel that is the best thing to do based on your intuition without asking permission.
Strong men tend to express their energy and pleasure fully. Boys are ashamed of sex on many levels. Tell her how much you love making love to her. If the energy is right, use dirty talking and four letter words.
Dirty talking is one of the most powerful ways I use to access my masculine energy. One can actually learn to give a woman on a verbal command with repeated practice. Talk about what you both want in sex out of the bedroom.
What does your lover really like and what do you really want.
Take turns masturbating in front of the other as this can be a real eye opener and very educational!
One topic you could discuss is bondage and how it can lead a man to be more masculine and for her to learn to surrender more. Then tie her up and become the dominate male energy, and this could help her surrender more and more.
One could hold her hands out to her sides when she is close to coming to get a feel about how bondage can deepen surrender.
If anyone has suffered sexual abuse I suggest being very careful in following this advice or you could trigger past abuse issues.
Introduce new actives into lovemaking; educate yourself to new ways of making love. Take the lead in introducing new sexual practices. Explore anal sex and Prostate Massage.
Practice role playing and playfulness.
Have you ever had an idea to spice up your lovemaking but were afraid and concerned of what your partner may think?
Statistics has shown that, in 90% of cases, your partner would LOVE to try something new, too, but they're just as uneasy or shy about bringing it up as you are.
Guys, be a real man and move through any fears and just lead.
Also experiment by taking the passive and more feminine role in sex. Let her do you, be on top, let her tie you up etc.
Attempting To Make the Female Orgasm ONLY from Sexual Intercourse
Men often feel they are not a real man if they can't give orgasms from intercourse. But what they need to understand is that a large number of females (70%) can't achieve orgasm through normal sex intercourse.
I hope this will takes the pressure off men completely just by knowing this. Now there's no need to get upset when your lady don't reach orgasm. Instead, men should master the art of cunnilingus and genital g spot massage.
But for a woman, orgasm is not the sole purpose of sex. And sex without orgasm is not automatically the frustrating disappointment that it would be to a man. And the funny thing is that when there is no pressure to orgasm, some of the time a woman can relax more and can find that she let go more and this can even result in orgasms.
Guys, if you follow most of the principles in this guide, particularly the g spot massage tips, after some time you could will find your woman starts to open up to g spot and vulva orgasms. Once this happens, it is likely that she will be able to orgasm in intercourse.
Do Not Ejaculate Too Soon
I read the following from a dating expert and I feel this rule is great advice for men that tend to come too soon.
Thou must not insert thy penis into thy woman until she comes 3 times
Simple hey, lead her to have a minimum of 3 orgasms. Most women never have 3 orgasms in one night. You will find she will even tell her friends what a great lover you are.
Guys, I suggest you become expert at giving head, clitoris, vulva and g spot massage. For the more advanced, explore tantra and in time, you will be able to both have hundreds of orgasms a night.
The key not to come too soon is simple, really...
RELAXATION AND BODY AWARENESS.
Men, when you are close to loosing it, take your attention to your body. Now slow down your stroke or even stop. Relax your buttocks, legs and any areas that are tight. Deepen your breath and breathe from your belly. It is very difficult to come if you are relaxed and are taking deep breaths.
I suggest you practice the above in masturbation.
Do Not Always “Space Out” During Sex.
Some guys make love by closing their eyes and shutting out the woman to focus on the sensations. (Some women have sex this way too) I feel this is an issue if this is how youALWAYS make love.
You may be on her, but you’re not WITH her if you’re lost in fantasy inside your own head. Some men don’t realize that their mind is wandering while they’re having sex. It occurs so often that they just take it for granted.
Watching a lot of porn each night can train you to only respond to visual images and fantasies.
Presence is the big factor for great sex, emotionally satisfying and connected sex. It is also a key to having sex over time with the same partner.
Most women I talk to regarding sex often tell me that their man is just not present in their lovemaking, he is just not there. You can know all the sexual techniques and sexual positions but if you are not checked in, these things will just not do it. Many relationships split up because one partner is just not present during sex.
A woman’s presence also determines how hard the erection is of a man. If she starts to think about kids or dinner in sex you might notice your erection becomes softer. When this happens to me, I start to touch her breasts with loving strokes and my lover returns to her body and pleasure. My erection then becomes hard. When you are present you can feel your own sensations and emotions in your body, your boundaries, and your pleasure.
You are out of your head, non goal orientated and in the moment. A lot of spiritual teaching also tell us to be present and in the here and now. Yes, sex can be a spiritual practice!
The other great thing about being present is that you can pay attention to your partner as well as yourself. You can start to feel your lover’s energy by the change of energy in your own body. You feel her by being connected to your body. Most women are very sensitive to feeling the difference of presence. Most people talk about a magnetism, or sense of ease and the deep relaxation that they notice when someone is present with them.
They can feel this in a normal non sexual massage too. When a man is very there, a woman can feel safe to really relax into her own energy and let her orgasmic energy flow.
G Spot massage can take her deeper than ever before.
Most of us these days know about the G-spot. This area lies within a woman's vagina about 1 to 2 inches in on the upper wall. It usually has a texture like a walnut with little ridges unlike anywhere else in the vulva. This can change as a woman gets aroused. However, I have massaged a woman that did not have this texture.
There are mainly two pleasure energy centres for a woman, the clitoris and the G Spot. There is a belief from the Masters and Johnson's study that did ground-breaking research of women's sexuality in the U.S, that the clitoris became known as a primary source of women's orgasm. In fact their study resulted in the belief that vaginal orgasm was a myth and that all orgasm's came from the same source, the clitoris. However, this belief is totally false in my experience with many women.
When a woman starts to release any blocks from the G Spot, sex and orgasms change profoundly. Some women have told me that once they started to have deeper g spot orgasms, their desire for clitoris orgasms dropped right off. It seemed that clitoris orgasms were just too shallow and had no depth. G Spot orgasms can go on and on for minutes, and valley orgasms for hours. From the teaching of Tantra, we learn that the g spot or sacred spot actually holds onto the memory of a woman's sexual past.
The G spot also retains images, thought forms and feelings regarding the sexual experiences a woman has had over the course of her life. This energetic access spot within the vagina can produce the most profound pleasure, physically and on a psychic level, as well as being a storing receptacle for all manner of hurtful things relating to sexuality.
So if a woman has had a lot of painful physical and emotional sexual experiences, her first contact with this spot may be unpleasant or painful and bring up negative emotions.
It is important for a man to hold a loving space during a g spot massage. I ask her to just feel the emotion in her body and to just let it flow out.
I generally recommend for a couple to do a g spot massage once a week for 8 weeks or so.
This allows the negative emotions to dissolve and to be replaced with increasing pleasure. Often there is a feeling of pressure or discomfort and sometimes just a total lack of sensation. During the massage suppressed emotions tend to arise leading to crying, blame or anger. It may take a number of sessions before the pain goes away or lessens. But if she perseveres, she will begin to release this negative charge that she has held in her body and replace it with increasing amounts of pleasure.
Then you might feel like laughing, and the pain is gone and pleasure is now what you feel. Memories that have been deeply buried can come forth, emotional feelings that were suppressed arise and a healing takes place.
Using the breath in the massage is another important aspect that allows healing.
Three Modes of Sex.
One thing I have found valuable in my own sex life and also for my clients is to see sex manifesting in three different ways.
This mode of sex is all about being in your sensations, pleasure, orgasms etc. You are totally focused inside yourself. At the point of an ejaculation orgasm most men are totally in the experience. Eyes are closed in this mode. Men can be good at this way of making love.
The deepest experience of this mode is when your lover stops breathing for 10 seconds or so and has a transforming meditative experience beyond thinking. Taoist erotic massage is designed for anyone to go deeper into trance.
When sex is all about connecting to your lover on many levels of feelings, energy and pleasure, we could call this partner engagement or connection. Eyes are usually open and there is a strong connection between the lovers.
The deepest experience of this way of making love is when you totally merge on all levels of being with your lover. I suggest you start to explore tantric sex if you want to explore this mode.
Role Playing Mode
This way of making love can be very playful and fun.
Each partner takes on a role. This could be acting out a fantasy, bondage, becoming a wild animal etc. For most couples this is the more challenging way of making love. In lovemaking, you can change from one mode to the other.
Becoming strong in all three makes sex always different and amazing. So if you always make love in a trance mode, open your eyes and set an intention to connect to your lover.
If you always feel connected to your lover, shut your eyes and focus totally on your own sensations. If you never take on roles, just do it and see what fun it can be.
Just a note. 90% of couples are in role playing in sex. They make love the same way each time. They take on a routine, a role and just repeat this time and time again.
Cuddle After Sex
I suggest spending at least fifteen minutes in “afterglow cuddling” with a woman after sex. Be WITH her – cuddling, caressing, whispering, or even a back massage. If you touch, kiss, and cuddle after you orgasm and ejaculate, she won’t get that let down and possible feeling of being used.
This is your time to tell her how much you appreciated making love to her. Tell her how connected you feel to her. By the way, telling her how beautiful she is at the point of orgasm is also very powerful.
You don’t have to cuddle after sex every time. But at least 10 to 15 minutes on average is something to keep in mind. And, above all, explore and make sex playful and fun!
Feedback From A Reader
I got this feedback from one reader of "Intimate Communion" from my old blog site.
"You are the man, I made my girl cum 8 times in a night i love you dude."
Not often a man tells me that they love me so I asked for more feedback and I got this reply.....
"I can’t believe this worked. I did everything I read. I got the email 40 minutes before me and my girlfriend had intercourse so I thought I'll try it out. And it worked wonders.
I started off with foreplay, massaging her nipples for about 15 minutes. I gave her little kisses here and there on her body, she started moaning and I didn't even touch her pussy for another 15 minutes.
I gave her finger clitoris orgasms directly and not directly. I found out by experimenting she like too be touched different ways depending on her mood. I moved into the g-spot orgasm.
I followed everything the newsletter said, taking my time before moving in for the kill as I say and about a good 45 minutes I moved in for the kill she came a total of 8 times I highly recommend you follow what Ange says as they work wonders!"
2. Get as specific as you can - the details help Me really get a feel for your unique situation.
3. You won't abuse My trust in you.
4. You won't send customer support emails and spam to My personal email. If you do that you won't get a response and I'll probably have to stop being so open with My time. Seriously. I want to help you, but to do that I need you to respect Me and My time as much as I respect yours.
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