Posted by ANGE FONCE on Thursday, August 16, 2012 Under: DYNAMIC RELATIONSHIPS For Men & Women
Great Relationship? Bad Sex, Why Women Cheat and Break up with men
If sex in your relationship is something that you are at all worried about, then the bad news is... that it probably is A MEANINGFUL WARNING SIGN.
Obviously there are many reasons that the physical part of a relationship is less than perfect.
Sadly, it's very rare for ANY couple these days to have banging-off-the-walls, screaming, crazy, out-of-control love making that leaves both partners completely blissful and satisfied (and sharing deep feelings of connection and contentment. Which Porn does not).
But when it's so-so or when interest seems low, it is very often a warning sign of other problems in the relationship... OR... the seed from which other problems grow.
Before I get too deeply into this and really examine what's going on, let me just quickly tell you here at the beginning, that one very EASY solution is to learn how to completely BLOW HER MIND whenever you want to in the bedroom.
Because, for many reasons that I'm about to explain, men who can do that are VERY RARE, and women know it, and so a woman will almost never leave a man who can do that for her without a very good reason.
A woman might complain that her husband doesn't help with the housework-- but I know very few woman ever left a relationship for that reason.
In fact, the reason she's complaining about the housework probably has very little to do with the housework itself.
You've probably figured out by now that there are many, many things you can do that generally annoy women.
Let's face it, women are just easily annoyed sometimes.
You may have also figured out (and this is a very, very painful one to figure out), that even if you do everything RIGHT, even if you love her and give her your time, attention, gifts, and even help with the housework... That women sometimes leave or cheat.
And I don't want to sound cynical and say, "it's all about the sex."
It's not... not at all...
But if that part is GREAT, she is not going anywhere. And she is not cheating.
Obviously I'm over-simplifying a bit because if you abuse her, are overly controlling, or just completely incompatible, then great sex might keep you together longer than you SHOULD be together...
But if the relationship is reasonably solid, great love making, all by itself, can forgive almost anything else.
What I need you to understand here is that this is not just because she's having a bunch orgasm though that doesn't hurt any!
And I don't want to minimize the pain of what it's like to have your woman cheat on you or leave you when you want to the relationship to continue.
And I don't want to be the jerk who says that "all a woman needs is a good time between the sheets."
GOOD sex can happen just because you learned some "techniques" or because she happens to be one of those women who can achieve orgasm easily, and it's really not that rare or that big a deal.
But GREAT sex can only happen if other, more important aspects are going well in the relationship.
But I don't just mean the things your mum or your marriage counsellor (Smiles says he, seeing as I work with couples on relationship issues) said were important-- like "respect" or being better at "communicating."
A man who can really rock her world though, is one who has learned how to do do both. Not just give her excitement, but also give and receive intimacy comfortably.
Maybe you have bought other books on good sex. Maybe you learned some cool tongue technique for pleasing a woman. And maybe you even gave her a bunch of orgasms.
But it's not even 10 percent of what makes a great lover-- the kind of man that women brag about, the kind of man that they fantasize about... the kind of man they would simply never consider leaving or cheating on.
To really unlock a woman's full sexual potential and take her to places that, amazingly, even she is usually completely unaware that she was capable of... to do that, you need something much more profound.
And when you learn those secrets, then even the very first time you make love to a woman, you can completely blow her mind and, if you want, even capture her heart through the act of the love making.
I do not believe that love and sex are the same thing, and you certainly shouldn't either.
But we do call it "making love," for a very good reason. It is because the two ARE related.
Can you have great sex without love?
Can you have great sex without the courage and confidence to build intimacy-- even if that connection is brief?
And you can't have love without intimacy either... of course.
And that's where the two are related.
For most men, sex does not have to be a very intimate act. In fact, for most men, the intimacy part makes the whole thing a bit intimidating.
It's fun, it feels good, but there's a lot of weird pressure and uncertainty about the whole thing.
And women feel that, and it blocks their ability to feel the kind of intimacy and trust that will open them up completely to your touch.
So how do you make a woman "FEEL intimacy?"
I'm going to give you a few ideas now, but I go into this subject in detail and explain the entire process when I work with couples and individuals.
If you are ready to get this really mastered so that you can easily create the emotions in a woman that allow her to experience her most powerful and profound orgasms, Contact me.
The first step to creating that intimacy is to gain CONFIDENCE.
In other words, get rid of that "weird pressure and uncertainty about the whole thing."
Part of this comes from actually spending the time to learn about women and female sexuality so that you are confident that you know the basic techniques of being a good lover.
Understanding the basic structure of how to make a woman come-- even women that have trouble achieving orgasms with their partners.
But more important, you have to develop your sexual identity as a confident lover.
Confidence is a funny thing...
Part of it comes from acquiring a skill (if you feel confident without skill, you are not really confident at all-- just brash or arrogant or even deluded).
But part does come from simply believing in your own worth and value. There are many men who have powerful skills in various important areas - whether that is carpentry or computers... but still lack confidence.
On some level confidence is not just about learning a skill, but also from knowing that you are the right man for the job.
That can take some self esteem and courage.
When a woman DOES feel your confidence, your courage, your certainty... and your ability to open to intimacy, it is possible to to do things to her body that you simply can't believe until you have experienced it.
It is so important to understand that techniques alone just won't do it.
It's not enough to know where her clitoris is or how to use your fingers or tongue in the right way.
That stuff is good.
And maybe she'll have an orgasm or even many powerful orgasms.
But when you really enter the world of her erotic reality, you can take her to places, that, seriously, she will not even know until she experiences it.
Intimacy and trust are the keys here. And your confidence is the door that will allow her to let herself surrender to it.
That will make you a very, very rare man.
As a relationship grows, it is easy to hurt each other. Little things accumulate that can break intimacy and trust.
And my up coming book is NOT just about relationships. I can't guarantee that I can save any relationship, so please don't think that that is what this newsletter is about.
But I do know this, and I am certain of it. When the sex is great, there is massive intimacy and excitement. And that is very, very good news for a relationship.
It is VERY unlikely that a woman will ever leave a man like that unless he does some pretty terrible stuff.
Women cheat for many complex reasons, and I'm certainly not saying that a woman who is having good sex won't want good sex somewhere else too if there are other emotional issues to deal with...But the kind of great love making I'm talking about makes that kind of thing virtually impossible.
Realize this, and it will give you profound knowledge and power in your interactions with women.
Understand that women, and particularly attractive women, have OPTIONS. A woman can get sex a lot easier than a man can. And that fact can give her a lot of validation and excitement if she is feeling insecure or unloved.
Cheating can add back a lot of the excitement into a woman's life and make her ego feel better when she is feeling disconnected from you.
And it is very important to realize that plenty of "good girls" who are very moral people sometimes find themselves tempted by some very, very confident, powerful, or attractive men...
IF she is feeling a lack of intimacy and excitement in her life.
Most of the time, a woman with high ethical standards will resist this temptation. But emotions are very difficult to control, and things that we regret can happen. We are, all of us,human. And we ALL have done things we regret.
But if a woman is truly being fulfilled with both excitement and intimacy. If she is having mind blowing sex in her life with YOU, then she will not be tempted. She will not feel either the need or the desire for that mysterious "something more."
The great news is that building this FEELING of intimacy and excitement is actually easy.
It does NOT require buying her flowers, taking her on romantic dinners at sunset, or having long conversations about "us."
But it does require that you learn how women respond emotionally to sex and to your touch, and to use that knowledge to share with her, what will be one of the most intense experiences of her life, and yours too in an authentic and fearless way.
And if you want to learn how to do that, then contact Me and find out for yourself.
I don't want to sound like I'm bragging, but I am ridiculously proud of the fact that almost nobody who has worked with Me has not agreed that it is all that I have promised and more... especially not once they have tried it out with the woman in their lives.
And everything really is SIMPLE. Sometimes even OBVIOUS... yet virtually no men are actually DOING these things.
It's what I sometimes call "The Elusive Obvious".
Please feel free to forward these articles to a friend - and let them know they can get in touch with Me.
To start receiving their own articles and letters by subscribing to this blog. I am sure They will Appreciate Your Consideration of them.
Tags: dynamic-life-development life-coaching life-coach intimacy relationships couples sex sexuality love kiss kissing men man masculine masculinity girl girls woman women feminine femininity